Helping Mothers And Fathers Survive When A Child Is Classified With A Disability

July 10, 2012 · Posted in Family · Comment 

In this post I will discuss what goes on for a mum or dad when their kid is classified with some sort of mental disability. Here I concentrated on the feelings of anguish as it can be so formidable that fathers and mothers may find themselves drowning in by the scale of the state of affairs.

Their dreams for their kids can be crushed in no time and they may feel like they are sinking in unchartered waters and absolutely out of their depth.

The explanation why I can talk about such issues is that having gone through the period of having a diagnosis for my own kid, I know some what how other parents who find themselves in comparable circumstances must be going through.

Prior to a child is born, it is usually an anxious time. You ask yourself will the delivery go okay and whether there will be risks and then after all this has passed you chill out. You take it easy until you start to notice something different or maybe someone makes some observations. Depending on the disability, this can take a long time before a diagnosis is formally made.

However once you suspect something, things are never the same again. From that point onwards, you are always watching, waiting, wondering and then when it finally happens, you find it so hard to deal with it, accept it, and believe it.

Your entire world becomes a very different place and you get worried about the world your cherished kid will live in.

These feelings are very normal and because each individual has a distinctively different experience, we each process this info on a childs prognosis a bit differently and move through different emotional stages at our own speed and in our own time frame.

At this time of great suffering, it is not unusual to withdraw from others, be drained of strength, rest little and find it hard even to do the most basic of chores. You may also find you do things out of character that you generally would never do.

On top of this we may be conscious that there are other family members we are neglecting but feel disempowered to do anything about it.

In helping parents cope, some turn towards alcohol, cigarettes, antidepressants or tranquilizers as a temporary coping strategy.

However, all these raw emotions will not stay raw permanently and there will be a degree of recovery over time. Be nice to yourself, take some small steps in your recovery and accept what support is given even for the moment by good families and support groups and above all steer clear of making any essential choices until the pain has subsided.

Remember, you are not alone, although you may feel like the loneliest parent on the planet at this time.

Grab our no cost ebook created for parents of special needs children prepared by a mom of a special needs child